ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
