it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
