We're like a lot better than the average bears
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There's always time for handjobs
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
