Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
