Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
