Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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