Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he fucked my hip out of place.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
