dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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