If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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