Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
