I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
