Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
