my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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