My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
