fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize