so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I believe in your delicious
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
