Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
