Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize
