your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
