Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You pole danced in your parka.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
