White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
