i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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