I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
