I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
