Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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