and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
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She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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