I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
