I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
