scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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