Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Randomize
