I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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