I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
