She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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