mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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