is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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