My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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