At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
