R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
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i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
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Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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