well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
