Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
