found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
