my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Dignity is for republicans.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
