Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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