3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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