Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
