You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
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I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
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Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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