so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
it hurts more in the daytime
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
