Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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