He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
