Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
