Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
