O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
