you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
