So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
