Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
