You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
