have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize
