Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
