I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
where are my eyebrows?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
