Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You are a genius and a whore.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
