I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
