Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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